WISS II - The Reckoning

Whoa. 'The Reckoning' is a pretty dramatic headline for the Return To WISS opening blog for 2012 but it's been a long time between posts on here so why not, ey? Meat takes time to cure and so do we, hence the timing between any missives from WISS. Or something like that.

Meanwhile, the ball is actually rolling for WISS 2012. The judging dates have been set for Friday 2nd of November to Sunday 4th of November. Yes, a weekend long meatathon which will include a judging day, a wine and meat challenge, a salami making course then some good old-fashioned drinking of cans of beer and awkward hugging.

De Bortoli triumphed last year so for 2012 they are hosting the WISS entourage on their Yarra Valley estate. Word has it Stephen Webber has ordered a portaloo so none of the judges destroy the pristine plumbing at De Bortoli over the weekend. I think he just meant the judge Nick Ryan.

Anyway, WISS did a preliminary inspection of the De Bortoli facilities and were blown away by the facilities and proximity to the great outdoors in case of any urgent need to purge. The old shearing shed that will house the bulk of the WISS festival de meat even has a spooky room that has insulated and padded walls. We like it.

WISS has already been sent pictures of smallgoods action from around Australia and we are hoping that the later-in-year date will allow for many meats to taste even better than last year. Producers already committed include De Bortoli (of course), Ravensworth (last year's runner up and winner of the air dried class), Zema Estate from Coonawarra (super enthusiastic and we love them), while the First Drop boys from the Barossa have been early meat handlers in 2012, and a new, all girl wine posse from Victoria has set our faces to flush and our pants to 'watch out' with their commitment to sausages for WISS 2012.

There will be more details to come... rest assured WISS is once more flying the flag for all things wine industry smallgood in 2012.

We welcome you back to the WISS fold...

Marco Cirillo - The WISS steward and all round good guy

If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Marco Cirillo of Cirillo wines, Grenache impresario and the Barossa's only Italian Stallion, then you haven't met one of the best 'heart of gold' blokes who pepper our vinous landscape. Humble, fun loving, dedicated to his winemaking cause, focussed yet unswervingly generous with time and energy, Marco is the kind of man you wan't in your corner... especially when it comes to smallgoods.

Marco comes from over 600 years of smallgoods making. No mean feat considering that Australia was only over run by immigrants some 220 years or so ago. The secret of the Cirillo family meats was brought to our fair shores from Marco's forebears and it pays heed to note that what Marco doesn't know about smallgoods, isn't worth knowing.

Marco came in as a WISS interloper; haranguing the judges, eyeing off his competition, interrupting me speaking (the worst crime), but in the end was possibly the most important part of our WISS day aside the actual entries - the beefeater. Marco managed to eyeball, sniff, squeeze and dissect every piece of meat ensuring our health, well being and anal integrity was kept intact. He knew when meat was turning, he knew when it was underprepared, he even gave a diatribe on curing methods from the Roman era using a paper cup and a toothpick. Marco knew everything, was beyond helpful, stewarded all meat, ran beers and, invaluably, brought his 'cure-all' homemade limoncello to steady our guts.

Marco also brought with him two entries that fit no genre of our dinky competition - a 6-year-old ham and a Cirillo speck. Spectacular meats - the 6-year-old ham with the texture of soft yet pliantly chewy cheddar and aromas that ran from camembert to intense, gamey pork. Like nothing else and simply stunning; plus an insight into the Cirillo family's long history of smallgoods-ing. The speck was insanely concentrated pigginess, but, as meat chewing gum goes, superb. I wished we had some dough and a pizza oven.

Anyways, a humongous thanks to Marco... and by all means neck one of his range of craggy old-vine grenache wines when you next spy a bottle. A worthy drank for some meats. Or in general.

Grazie mille, Marco!

Marco, centre, surveys the WISS judging table

Artisans of the Barossa cellar door...

...what a bunch of legends. But more specifically, Mel, who runs the joint. A superb location on the escarpment above Tanunda, the Artisans of the Barossa houses a collective of 'like-minded' small batch producers who get off on sub-regional winemaking. Anyways, the cellar door is a stunner - floor to ballistically high ceilings with views cascading down over a vineyard or three, the bright, alfresco tasting room and private spaces aside, Mel let us run WISS all day Friday commandeering her staff, her kitchen, her private tasting room and a few buckets to slag unworthy meat in. Oh the humanity! 

No way we could have pulled WISS off without the help of Mel and the Artisans of the Barossa cellar door team, thank you so much for hosting our event, thank you for putting up with us, thanks for going above and beyond. We salute you. 

View from interior of cellar door. Winsor spitbucket doubles as pissoir

And The Trophy For Best Smallgood Of WISS... THE BIG ONE..!

Ok. So this is the one you have all been waiting for. The best. The tastiest. The sexiest. The one you want to stash in your pants and show off to friends. The greatest flavour, the best excuse for killing an animal, the ultimate moment in death of small, kind, loveable farmyard friends...

RAVENSWORTH 'COUNTRY HAM' vs DEBORTOLI 'HARRY'S HOT STICK'

A very tough call here for the judges... The Country Ham was subtle, fine, filigreed and elegant to the Hot Stick's brashness, complexity, amazing flavour and seductive spice.

In the end. The best meat won... (3 judges to 1 judge)

THE BEST SMALLGOOD IN THE AUSTRALIAN WINE INDUSTRY FOR WISS 2011 IS...

DEBORTOLI HARRY'S HOT STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner of WISS 2011 - De Bortoli Harry's Hot Stick

THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED - WATCH OUT FOR WISS 2012 DETAILS, COMING SO SOON THAT IT WILL MAKE YOUR GUTS SPIN... 

And how about those judges? Meet your WISS panel

Sometimes, pictures speak louder than words....

Dave 'The Meatman' Brookes

Mike 'Sexual Salumi' Bennie

Richard 'The Meat Maestro' Cornish

Nick 'Salmonella Slayer' Ryan

WIss announces The Dirk Diggler/John Holmes Memorial Trophy for sausage with most girth and width

It's big. It's juicy. It's huge. It makes you swoon and gag and cower. Cross your legs and padlock the chastity belt. We have the winner of the biggest, the thickest, the meatiest. The girth will make you think twice about asking that random stranger home...

And here it is.

Adults only...

The winner of the Dirk Diggler/John Holmes Memorial Trophy for sausage with most girth and width (and length and weighing in at a whopping 1.25kg)...

Moondarra Bresaola!!

Congratulations to Neil Prentice!

It was actually one of the best Air Dried meats we tried. Superb. Made from Neil's own Wagyu cattle..

WISS Sal Monella award for worst smallgood of show goes to...

Sadly, there has to be one. Yes. The most rancid, vile, gut twisting, running for crapper, dry wretch moment of the WISS show. Sure, the producer put their heart, soul and feet into their smallgoods, but on the day... the gear looked, well, vomitous...

It's green, through and through. The colour of moss, verdant pastures and your Grandma's dunny...

McHenry Hohnen... we think it lived once...