Final judge announced

And then there were four...

The Wine Industry Smallgoods Smackdown is proud to announce its only vestige of credibility with the inclusion of sausage expert and smallgoods supermo Richard Cornish as the fourth judge for WISS.

Richard is the Senior Features Writer for The Age's Epicure section and the co-author of MoVida: Spanish Culinary Adventures and MoVida Rustica cookbooks. He knows his way around his meat. Richard is a valued addition to the judging panel and we are pleased to bring someone with any gravitas to the competition.

Sadly, we can't show his face as he has allegedly never been captured on film, but an artist's rendition has him looking pretty much like this...

First Drop Of Blooooooddd

No messing around for First Drop. John Retsas offers his donut-eating-pig little chance to survive the post harvest downtime. Bolstered by Krispy Kreme goodness, the First Drop pig is taken to 'that happy place' before a finely executed deconstruction. 

Just hangin' out... 

The bits are manhandled for flavour. 

An authentic set of Italian hands (the t-shirt gives it away) massages and seasons Miss Piggy's best bits.

Mince Master Mike going off...

A string of sausages materialises.

More sausages than a towel down after a football match. 

Barry bonanza

While 'what happens on tour, stays on tour' might be one expression, 'keeping it all in the family' is another. Amazing huh? Anyway, that gibberish aside, it's great to see the Barrys en masse contributing to their WISS cause with a lusty pig slaughter followed by smallgoods production session. The generations are here representing Jim Barry Wines and Clos Clare Wines too. Sure, it's not like they all took a bath together or share a bed, but the family bonding is still there. 

So, here is some background on their WISS entry. See how the pigs frolic with the horse. These are free range pigs too. Not sure if Mr Ed ended up in the meat mix, but it could be a possibility... 

Neigh! I don't taste that good! - Mr Ed

Just hanging with the hogs. Babe and his mates really liked the Barry's too... 

This little piggy went to market, this little piggy became roast beef

They're bloody serious about their meats too. See how the family enjoys the bits of their formerly living, porcine friends...

We did get a missive from the Barry's too - here is some context for their entry: 

Last year when we did the Winter pig we enlisted the services and expertise of an Italian couple from Adelaide. This year we the help and added advice of Jo Barrington–Case (nee Knappstein) who has a heritage of sausage making along with some fabulous recipes and is arguably the best cook in Clare.

We are very happy to have had this info come our way, it adds context to the meats and their efforts. See how they perspire over their sausage...

Sam knows his way around a sausage or two.

And of course, the family that plays together, stays together... 

Freeze. Or the meat gets it...

The competition heats up...

First Drop - Stop Press

Today marks First Drop's smallgoods making fiesta and an urgent email has landed in the WISS inbox. The alarm bells rang, fireworks shot out of someone's ears and lazer beams came out of a dog's mouth.

Email Subject: Sausage Mince Heaven

Email: John's [Retsas] in his "happy place"

Image attached: (see below)

You know what they do to chopped liver at boarding schools, right? ... Hmm... 

Cirillo - pleased to meat you

If only someone could bottle Marco Cirillo's enthusiasm for stuff... You could call it Cirillo Cetchup, or Excitement Sauce, or Marco's Ballistic Hullabaloo Exhilaration Passion Fervour Condiment. Or something like that. Bring it on Marco, bring it on!

He's run me through a couple of details about the smallgoods process, but a picture tells a thousand lies, can be used as a marital aid or assist with making ugly people look prettier. Here are a couple of flicks from Marco's butchering day anyway.

Witness the cutting up of pigs. The Cirillo's take to the beast en masse. 

An unlikely looking goat. Why is it naked? Haw haw. 

Meanwhile, witness the miracle of the Cirillo's making one goat... become two...

Whoa! Double vision... 

Ravensworth gets serious...

Bryan Martin has issued perhaps the most serious challenge yet. We thought some of the other entrants took things seriously, but Bryan is taking his Ravensworth entries to the next level. Emails that detail production processes, a photo journal of meat activities and a lengthy explanation of his ingredients have all been enlightening. The brows are furrowed, the head is down, this fella is fiending to take out this hokum competition in its inaugural year... 

Here is some pig curing. Not a curing pig. That would be pretty amazing though. 

Note the bag of mysterious white powder. The judges don't endorse the using of said powder but appreciate Bryan making the offer nonetheless. Please send in unmarked paper bag...  That's a whole 8kg of oinker leg.

Check out this good looker after 4 weeks of curing. *wolf whistle*.

Someone said they didn't like Bryan's Sangiovese at cellar door. This is where they ended up... air drying for our pleasure. 

Pig neck. Big pig neck. 

Here is some salami; just hanging out. Nice shed too Bryan. 

When I was a kid I tried this on myself to make things, erhem, grow. Sadly it didn't work out... But Bryan is having a crack at it with his Coppa... 

SUPER SATURDAY

Whoa. If there was ever a bigger week in smallgoods making history... Ravensworth, Jim Barry Wines, First Drop, Cirillo and a few others have all been going at it. Wowsers. It's a veritable slaughter of beasts from goat to pig to cow to duck and back to pig again. Blood, bone, brain, hoof, lips, arseholes, everything seems to have been thrown into the mix. We're hoping at least one person submits twiggy sticks or cabanossi...

WISS endorses the eating of only happy cows

It's very exciting times for WISS as the entries keep on keepin' on... Plus, Moondarra's Wagyu bresaola came through the postal system without the delivery dude nibblin' on it. Phew.

Moondarra Meats

Neil Prentice of Moondarra does two things very well; wine, fancy Wagyu Tajima beef and talk heaps. That might be three things, but we're a little dazzled by a genuine fancy cow entry into WISS. This ups the stakes a lot for us. It heralds a coming of age for the fledgling competition, especially because Neil has a picture with Matt Preston from Masterchef enjoying his smallgoods with him. [edit - that is John Lethlean enjoying smallgoods, not Neil. A bad angle of John, or a good one of Neil (thanks Max Allen for picking it up)].

Sure, Matt Preston might be holding grissini, but that is beside the point. Meanwhile, the quality is all in the meat... There's more marbling in this piece of meat than marbled varicose veins in a retirement village... 

The Moondarra gear is genuinely anticipated though. Neil talks passionately about his cattle and is a thoughtful smallgoods maker. Here are some details about his meats:

Our early experiments included a “sobrasada” style sausage made with the help of Frank Camorra and his father.

Since then our range has evolved to include traditional Bressaola, Cacciatore, Salami and 100 gram packets of sliced salami.

Bring on the meats... 

Mitchell Harris Meat

So we have another Victorian in the mince now. Mitchell Harris Wines have a pig thing going on and aren't afraid to use a mincer and some sausage casings. Pretty excited about their entry into WISS actually - and hoping they submit a bottle of their Bandol-esque Rose for good measure. And to aid peristalsis.

Grindin'... 

Tubular... 

De Bortoli

The 19th of June could be the WISS 'Ides of March' for many... The date announced the De Borts crew's annual meat making event and we are eager to see the results in the competition. Wine scribe Max Allen was there to check out the activities and took some ripper pics which he has offered to share with the WISS faithful. See below for more...

Watch as humans manipulate the shredded animal parts. 

Leanne De Bortoli puts her palate to the test.

Joy as animal parts become one. Shazam! And cotechino is born... 

Fat Boy

David Franz has corralled some Barossans together to bring us the latest WISS entry - Fat Boy Sausage. A pejorative name for a pack of South Australian whippets who enjoy nothing more than playing with meat when not tending vines or making wines. Team 'Fat Boy Sausage' includes the might of Dave Lehmann and David Franz as chief meat doers with Nigel Blieschke (Peter Lehmann Wines), Peter Gambetta (Yalumba), Mick Kleeman (Lindner vineyard stuff) and James Lindner (master of tequila and booze at Langmeil Winery) as conspirators. A formidable combination. Wouldn't want to be in the room with that mob after they have had a few brown lemonades and a couple of their sausages...

Behold, the Fat Boy.