And how about those judges? Meet your WISS panel

Sometimes, pictures speak louder than words....

Dave 'The Meatman' Brookes

Mike 'Sexual Salumi' Bennie

Richard 'The Meat Maestro' Cornish

Nick 'Salmonella Slayer' Ryan

WIss announces The Dirk Diggler/John Holmes Memorial Trophy for sausage with most girth and width

It's big. It's juicy. It's huge. It makes you swoon and gag and cower. Cross your legs and padlock the chastity belt. We have the winner of the biggest, the thickest, the meatiest. The girth will make you think twice about asking that random stranger home...

And here it is.

Adults only...

The winner of the Dirk Diggler/John Holmes Memorial Trophy for sausage with most girth and width (and length and weighing in at a whopping 1.25kg)...

Moondarra Bresaola!!

Congratulations to Neil Prentice!

It was actually one of the best Air Dried meats we tried. Superb. Made from Neil's own Wagyu cattle..

WISS Sal Monella award for worst smallgood of show goes to...

Sadly, there has to be one. Yes. The most rancid, vile, gut twisting, running for crapper, dry wretch moment of the WISS show. Sure, the producer put their heart, soul and feet into their smallgoods, but on the day... the gear looked, well, vomitous...

It's green, through and through. The colour of moss, verdant pastures and your Grandma's dunny...

McHenry Hohnen... we think it lived once...

WISS final Salami competition

Wow. Some great sausage happening here. Very, very good entries. A touch of gut throb and a little instantaneous gout, but a complex bracket to judge. We went through the lot in two brackets with the following results:

Class comments -

Again a very great level of respect for the traditional nature of smallgoods making. Few imposed their ego on the making process - many have made salami to match their wine. The caveat is These Smallgoods Scream Out For Wine. Fermenting smallgoods is a dark art that involves billions of microbes to creare rhe lactic ferment required to reduce the ph to make stable products. many entries didn't have their head around this entirely, the results, had we swallowed them could have killed us. However, the top smallgoods showed true artisan craftsmanship. RC

Overall a very good class though some skanky units that needed cleaning up. Again I think some stuff needed more hangtime and curing, but ones came to the top were complex and balanced with intensity of flavour and aroma, as you would expect from a good wine. DB

This class is my smallgoods sweet spot; some really lovely pig sweet, complex, deliciously long and rounded salami styles. I reiterate comments on hangtime, a couple of them would be more interesting in a month or two but not right now. As far as a sausage fest goes, that was a good one. NR

Firstly, pay heed - a meat spit bucket is fuckin' wrong. Luckily the stuff on the plates was so right. An amazing array of very finely made meat goods; incredible range of spice driven, pig driven, oinking good times. I appreciated the more intense styles of sausage; some extremists have left a heady imprint on some of their wares. Across the board great quality and an excitement in interpreting various 'terroirs'. MB

Bracket One Winners - 

New Generation Wog Council 'Hot' Salami - Nicely textured, complete and composed. Bit of kick here, not blowing heads off but a mid palate burn nonetheless.

Casella Yellowtail Sausage - Sweet perfume, neat pepper, very intense flavour, enjoying the handcut shape here, soft texture, lovely spice throughout, finishes with great length and spice. Super stuff.

First Drop Salami - meaty, leathery, savoury spice and sweet animal meat, touch of capsicum or paprika, herbal notes, bergamot, pine needles, very fresh and peppery.

David Franz 'Fat Boy Sausage Calabrese' - very intense aromatics, minty almost, lifted fennel characters, peppery, menthol, lean and hot spice. Amazing intensity. Cornish says 'first sausage to make me really want to drink wine with it'. Hyper style.

Cirillo 'Calabrese Sausage' - Layers of intense aromatics and the same to taste, loads of flavour, rustic texture, sweet smoke, chilli, meaty, savoury. Superb.


Bracket Two Winners - 

DeBortoli 'Harry's Hot Stick' - Great appearance, almost cheesy aromatics, awesome layers of flavour, richness, great spice intensity, slightly umami finish, amazing length, lingering spice, incredibly finish.

Syrahmi Salami - Very meaty with spice, winey characters and a lifted sweetness, great intensity of flavour, very long residual flavour, sweet flavour and well polished entry here.


Torzi Matthews Salami - Sweet peppers, chilli, capsicum and paprika in the bouquet. Palate has lots of layered flavour, sinewy texture, easy eating style that keeps you reaching back for the simple but attractive flavours.

and the winner came down to...

DeBortoli and Casella and Cirillo salamis...

But we only have one winner - the Salami Of The WISS goes to....

DeBortoli Harry's Hot Stick - a supreme entry that was eventually stolen by Judge Cornish to take back to his lair in Victoria.

DeBortoli sausage centre, empty Cirillo plate to left (eaten for posterity) and Casella sausage to right

Hottest Salami award

Several ice blocks were administered to anus (or is that anii?) after the hottest salamis were mustered for the  judging of the WISS Hottest Salami award. The final three were -

New Generation Wog Council 'Hot' Salami - Nicely textured, complete and composed. Bit of a kick here, not blowing heads off but a mid palate burn nonetheless.

Yarran Wines Leopard Wood Salami - Pepper over chilli spice. Intense, serious burn with front to back palate wall-to-wall fire. Still has great flavour, meatiness delivers good carriage for flames.

Tait Wines 'Filetto d'Prosciutto' - Judicious burn. Charry heat with low slow burn that grows, not shows. Uplifting and intense.

And the winner is....

YARRAN WINES LEOPARD WOOD SALAMI - phew!

WISS judging begins! Air Dried

First up the meat has all been numbered for anonymity. Next up, the limoncello has been slugged down for protection. Then, spitoons/vomit buckets set aside for the tasting...

The first class to be judged is 'Air Dried'. Judge Cornish says 'so many pigs have died for this'. 

Class comments:

For a spread of amateurs, there is a real dedication to tradition. Really respectful to the art itself. No one is taking the piss. - RC

Some could have done with more hang time. Overall very good - DB

Nothing I really recoiled from, some very impressive and interesting products there. Best of them had a supple meat sweetness, weren't over salty and singular. NR

Lots of variety of flavour, well made and well executed smallgoods. Some of the more subtly flavoured products were novel. No gut-churn. - MB

Results:

Third place - TAIT WINES 'FILETTO d'PROSCIUTTO' - A ring burner of the highest order, but takes length and sear to a new level. Great balance of spice in general. 

Second place - FIRST DROP CAPOCOLLO - Great flavour here. The meat here never made the barf bucket. Long, umami twang in the finish. Complex flavours. 

WINNER - RAVENSWORTH COUNTRY HAM - An extraordinary product that defied Maestro Cornish 'I've not seem similar' - a subtle, lightly coloured but definitively porky product with filigree of flavour. Remarkable for delicacy but complexity. 

Penultimate day for inaugural WISS

Things are really hotting up for the First Annual Premier Inaugural Number One Ever Wine Industry Smallgoods Smackdown... The final entries are trickling in to the Artisans of the Barossa cellar door in Tanunda, the Narcan shots have been packed, a course of antibiotics has been issued to all judges to fortify themselves against suspect meats. It's a cavalcade of excitement and intrigue culminating in a terrine of good times. 

Meanwhile, the Sydney selection of meats has been carefully hidden in the false bottom of this cooler bag... 

And for some of the more contraband salumi there is an additional concealment process. 

Richard Cornish is taking no risks coming from Melbourne with his stash... 

And of course Dave Brooke's has enlisted the Barossa militia to guard the Artisan's of the Barossa cellar door.... 

Bring on WISS judging tomorrow...